Homeward bound

Just a quick update today: Mom went home this afternoon! She is much, much better with regard to the nausea and really-sick feeling. She was able to get up and shower with help yesterday and has been able to walk about the same amount as before with assistance and with her walker. She was happy to change into her going-home clothes this morning and to prepare to leave the hospital. Danny had a bunch of pillows to help situate mom in the car (she can't move that right leg much including bending it so it was tricky to trouble shoot how she'd feel best in the car). They did great and she texted me a bit ago that she was home, it was beautiful there and she was happy. Danny and Ellen have been working really hard on the land this year, as they always do, and it is exceptionally beautiful there lately. The house looks great and the gardens are breathtaking. I am sure it will be a peaceful place to recover. Starting tomorrow, we have our rotation of family/friend caregivers starting to come in to assist mom during the days while Dad works; he will cover the evenings/nights/mornings. Mom is in good spirits and continuing to focus on her physical recovery. Every day she's a little bit better and every baby step counts. She is being patient, listening to her body and maintaining her positive attitude. This isn't always easy given that she would love to just get up and run! But she will be on bedrest for another couple of weeks and her mobility may not be back to her baseline for a while after that. She's doing great at keeping perspective and we all celebrate all the progress she makes every day. There are simply no words to express how grateful we all are to have all of your support. Thank you.

Friday, May 13 - Up and Down

This blog site has been down for a few days and was in read-only format until just now. I guess they've fixed the bug and we're back in business so I'm posting the things that had been written over the last two days now. Many of you received this in email format this morning. . .

Briefly, Mom had made major strides on Wednesday and Thursday, really increasing her activity level (with help of friends/nurses/physical therapists and with a few handy devices including a walker). It has been awesome to see her up and about, regaining her strength and mobility little by little. (For more on those two days, see the post below).

The city was bathing in that great, golden glow as the sun rose this morning on my way in to see Mom. Turns out she had a much, much harder night last night. Up much of the night, sick to her stomach, generally not feeling well. We are thinking that much of this is related to a new pain medication that was started last night (and which has since been discontinued). It's been
a bit of a rough morning for her.

Dr. Powell has been out of town at meetings and such so she has been seen in person by the residents and one of Dr. Powell's colleagues. However, Dr. Powell did call this morning and had a good chat with Ellen (and somewhat with me as I got to participate with her on speaker phone). Essentially, she expressed her satisfaction with mom making great progress increasing her
activity and working to get the pain under control. She also thinks this bad night/morning last night is likely related to the medication and that all in all, mom is improving slowly but steadily on the right trajectory. She also had a really good heart to heart with her about not pushing to go home too soon. As Dr. Powell puts it, people often think that when they get released it means
they've achieved something great, they get an A+ or extra-credit or a sticker or something, but
in fact she won't be handing out stickers (what?!?!). She reinforced for mom that the hospital time is a time for her to continue to improve her strength and mobility with a lot of trained help around. Going home can sometimes actually be a setback and can be harder when suddenly you don't have the same amount/type of help, etc. So. . . she really encouraged her to readjust her expectations, to not feel like a failure if she's in the hospital into next week, but to really take advantage of being here, to focus on using this time to find a pain-control regimen that really works and to use the help here to work on mobility. So. . .mom is working on readjusting her expectations and being gentle with herself.

She did a great job with the physical therapist this morning, walking with the walker and practicing getting in and out of a chair and bed. She's able to bend her knee about a centimeter but still has very limited mobility in her leg so all of these things- getting out of bed, in bed, walking- are very hard. The thought at this time is that these things should recover completely but it will likely take quite some time. All the activity this morning took a lot out of her and she's pretty exhausted. Still feeling a fair amount of pain, still sick to her stomach and more fragile today so trying to get the rest she needs to keep on the recuperation track. We're encouraging her to take it pretty easy, although she will be getting in and out of bed a lot more today. Ellen is
keeping a positive, relaxed attitude despite the difficult night and morning.

While she's not up for visitors today, please do keep all those great healing thoughts coming her way. They help more than you can know.

Thursday May 12 - On the move

Today is Thursday, hospital day four and postoperative day three for Ellen. A quick update on things:

Yesterday mom worked with physical therapy in the morning which was a huge feat- she was able to get out of bed with a lot of very hard work but this caused significant pain and tears. She managed to get some rest in the midst of the traffic of nurses, visitors, physical therapist and doctors coming in and out of the room. In the afternoon, my dad Danny was there (as he is every day after school) and Sky came along yesterday, as well. With their help, she got out of bed and walked not once, but twice! She used the techniques she learned from the physical therapist and used a walker; although it took a great deal of effort and some discomfort, she did really well. The first walk was a few feet and the second one was to the door and back (about 10 feet each direction). I wasn’t there to witness either of these outings but heard about it in excited text messages from the three of them! What a great team! After a big day, mom slept well all night long. (I would say she slept like a baby, but as the parent of a baby, those words seem ill fitting to express the fact that she actually slept soundly through the night.)

This morning was a gorgeous morning in San Francisco- big clouds over the ocean and through the bay but golden sunshine lit up the city proper. Mom and I had a mellow breakfast early this morning and then the occupational therapist came by to help her with some equipment and skills to make moving a little easier. Getting in and out of bed remains the hardest part by far. With the occupational therapist, she was able to get out of bed, stand up and walk with her walker a few feet. She can’t (and isn’t allowed to) bend over so they practiced how to get dressed using a grasping device (think of the sort of thing used to pick up trash on the beach- super useful!), practiced how to position herself to help herself sit up and did some trouble shooting as to how to help her leg swing over the side of the bed. As of right now, she needs help with the latter both for getting in and out of bed, but she is making major progress in my opinion. Around late morning after a little dozing, she was ready for another walk and was able to direct me as to how to help support her efforts at getting out of bed. She did an initial short walk and then decided to extend it, to walk to the hallway and look out the big hallway windows at the glorious day. She did great and Lindy, Suni and I were thrilled to witness her making this progress. As she was making her way back to bed, in walked the physical therapist! So they spent a bit more time practicing some transferring skills in and out of seated positions. By the end of that, she was pretty exhausted and in a fair amount of discomfort. As I left, she was going to rest a little and then have some lunch.

We will continue to update you all here on the blog. Your love, support, faith in and encouragement of Ellen are so incredibly appreciated by my dad, my brother, my grandma, me and our families. All of your sentiments- be they comments here, email, phone calls, texts or telepathic messages mean a lot to us and really help all of us right now. We are blessed to know so many thoughtful, supportive friends. Thank you.

Postoperative day two - morning update from Sierra

As Ellen says, "Dear Blog Friends". . .
It is Wednesday morning - a cool, gray but beautiful morning in San Francisco. I arrived a little after 6:30 to be with mom and the residents were examining and talking with her. She was wide awake and in good spirits when I walked in and told me that she had almost texted me in the middle of the night to share her good news- she can move her leg a teeny, tiny bit! While this may not sound like much, this is major progress and, while she still has quite a ways to go, this initial step in the right direction (truly no pun intended) is very exciting. She was able to move her leg a few inches back and forth and can passively move it up and down. Her pain is still present, particularly with active flexing or extending of the leg, but much more under control with her current medication regimen. Honestly, seeing her simply shift positions in the bed on her own was awesome. These small movements are things that most of us don't even consciously think about or realize that we are taking for granted. It is truly a blessing to be able to move our muscles and power our bodies through the world.
Today a physical therapist will see her; she is anxious to get a little more mobility and maybe to even sit up with her legs over the side of the bed. We'll all be pulling for her (while also gently encouraging her to take it slow and listen to her body).
Thank you for all the notes here and in email. It has really brightened Ellen's spirits to hear from folks. In her room here, she has a few vases of beautiful rhododendrons that Danny brought in from their beautiful gardens, some orchids and a bunch of photos of family surrounding her. The sun shines in for much of the day most days such that the room is filled with light. While no one ever wants to be a patient in the hospital, it is fitting that Ellen's room would be filled with beauty and brightness.
I know she is very much looking forward to improving enough to go home and she is hopeful that this will happen somewhat soon; I think it will still be a few more days here at the least . Once at home, she will still be needing help for a few weeks especially during the days while Danny is at work. Even as her mobility improves here little by little, she has a long recovery ahead and she is on strict orders to be mostly on bedrest for 3-4 weeks, to not bend, squat, lift, not walk much, etc. . . meaning no cooking, dishes, gardening, exercising, lifting up her grandbaby, etc. We will keep you all posted as to when she'll be heading home. I'll be trying to coordinate a calendar of folks who have time to come hang out in the house for part of a day here or there in the coming weeks, to be available to lend a hand if she needs it and to simply be an able-bodied presence while she rests and recovers.
We'll continue to update you on things here. Hope that you all have a wonderful day wherever you are. Mom is sleeping now. . . Here's hoping that her pain remains well controlled, that she continues to rest a lot, to eat well and that she regains her strength and mobility little by little. Taking things one day at a time; that's all any of us can really do.

Sierra

brief update from Sierra

My mom Ellen's surgery was this morning at 8:45; she was out of the operating at noon. Dr. Powell spoke with us afterward and said that she 'felt good' about the surgery. It was a fairly big surgery and mom has been in a lot of pain today with the slightest movements. She is listening to her body and taking medication as needed. She said "I've used more drugs today than I ever have in my life"! She's dozed on and off this afternoon which is good- letting herself rest as she begins the recuperation and recovery process. We were in the recovery room for a little over 4 hours waiting for a room on the 'regular' floor. She is now in her private room. Danny, Annie and I have been sitting with her this evening. She is now sitting part of the way up (she's on bed rest for a couple of days) and eating a little dinner with my dad. It's meant a great deal to her and to all of us to receive so many messages of love and support throughout the day.
Despite the pain she's been in, she remains the Ellen you all know- while drowsy from the anesthesia in the post-op recovery area she asked me many, many times how I was doing, if I was okay, if I was too hot/too cold. . . :) She is always taking care of others and always concerned about others. We will continue to return the sentiment, to share with her the love, nurturing, encouragement, positivity and support that she so wholeheartedly shares with everyone else.

Mothers Day 2011

Hello Blog friends.
It has been a long time since I have written anything here.
Sadly, I had a recurrence of Melanoma. I had a small surgery the beginning of March, but the margins were not clear. I spent over a month exploring all options from traditional Western Medicine to many non Western medicine options. I was challenged in charting a course of action until I had an appointment with a Melanoma specialist, Dr. Daud at UCSF. I made a commitment to myself that whatever direction I chose to take I would embrace fully. After the consultation I chose to have further surgery. After the surgery I will do a new treatment for melanoma.
Monday May 9th is surgery day. I will be in San Francisco again, with Dr. Powell. I am confidant that I have the best Dr. I can have for this procedure. So, San Francisco Kaiser, where I was born, will be my home much of this next week. Sierra or Sky (my wonderful children) will be updating this site during the next week or two. My family and I appreciate all of your love, support, and best wishes as I know it helps in the healing. I am blessed to have each of you as a special person in my life.